We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
