A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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