therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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