dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
