God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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