these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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