they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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