what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize