I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
