But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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