i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
