i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he thought i was a dude.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
