I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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