Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Even my vagina gasped.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize