yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
