My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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