Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
