wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
where are you?
Hypothermia
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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