hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
