i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
