Sponge bath it is.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
