Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
