Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
