The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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