I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize