Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
