it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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