She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
