Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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