Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace? http://tfl.nu/alh3
  Replies (1) Good night (863) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom http://tfl.nu/66s8
  Replies (32) Good night (1697) Bad night (4825)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college. http://tfl.nu/khqs
  Replies (6) Good night (1017) Bad night (5889)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America. http://tfl.nu/l7qb
  Replies (11) Good night (3482) Bad night (1138)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down http://tfl.nu/e11q
  Replies (6) Good night (4243) Bad night (1235)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings http://tfl.nu/jmrv
  Replies (2) Good night (1613) Bad night (2684)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine http://tfl.nu/sllr
  Replies (7) Good night (2262) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship http://tfl.nu/l6zt
  Replies (2) Good night (1536) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off. http://tfl.nu/39nr
  Replies (10) Good night (2922) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  My liver just had a heart attack.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): My liver just had a heart attack. http://tfl.nu/xspi
  Replies (9) Good night (1235) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest. http://tfl.nu/r7wh
  Replies (3) Good night (305) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.

  (425): View more from Washington

  I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning. (425): I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation. http://tfl.nu/7xvm
  Replies (3) Good night (752) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (564): View more from Washington

  I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (564): I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened. http://tfl.nu/a3m1
  Replies (2) Good night (710) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic. http://tfl.nu/ch95
  Replies (3) Good night (754) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is http://tfl.nu/c9vw
  Replies (4) Good night (1105) Bad night (243)

Randomize