Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...