you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
