Where is the hickey?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
