just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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