Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person

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  (773) i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst. (773)SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person http://tfl.nu/tfn0
  Replies (11) Good night (2044) Bad night (3120)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.

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  (920): I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with. http://tfl.nu/q53z
  Replies (29) Good night (1624) Bad night (1996)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.

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  (501): My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog. http://tfl.nu/5h53
  Replies (18) Good night (1161) Bad night (2298)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs

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  (314): I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs http://tfl.nu/syr9
  Replies (12) Good night (2669) Bad night (716)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air

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  (610): the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air http://tfl.nu/jv3m
  Replies (31) Good night (815) Bad night (3667)
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  (650): View more from California

  i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick

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  (650): i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick http://tfl.nu/pgxx
  Replies (39) Good night (3937) Bad night (1236)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'

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  (757): you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse' http://tfl.nu/umk4
  Replies (18) Good night (10330) Bad night (1185)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.

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  (740): I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday. http://tfl.nu/4f6m
  Replies (8) Good night (1140) Bad night (2419)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.

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  (630): He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding. http://tfl.nu/mxqh
  Replies (1) Good night (1340) Bad night (2634)
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  (707): View more from California

  We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.

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  (707): We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE. http://tfl.nu/7oeu
  Replies (9) Good night (1402) Bad night (2371)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?

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  (812): Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave? http://tfl.nu/yd5g
  Replies (4) Good night (2933) Bad night (917)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.

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  (512): We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings. http://tfl.nu/68bg
  Replies (5) Good night (740) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm about to be a big disappointment.

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  (405): Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake. (405): I'm about to be a big disappointment. http://tfl.nu/y7r2
  Replies (2) Good night (787) Bad night (427)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!

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  (306): our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening! http://tfl.nu/jbji
  Replies (2) Good night (603) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow

  (1-304): View more from West Virginia

  Teach me the song of your people

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  (304): I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow (1-304): Teach me the song of your people http://tfl.nu/wyqv
  Replies (1) Good night (882) Bad night (302)

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