watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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