He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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