420 ftw
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Sext me about skeletons
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
