This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
His hands were made for my vagina.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
