How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
