porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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