I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
