i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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