he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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