Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
