Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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