Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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