It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Ketchup is God's man juice
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
