The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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