Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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