You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
