I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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