your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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