Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
why do cheetos always look like penises
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize