But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My ass is underappreciated
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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