She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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