woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
we're so committed to being not committed
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
