If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
