my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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