Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
