If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
