And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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