WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
