Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!

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  (630): My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea! http://tfl.nu/pudz
  Replies (5) Good night (660) Bad night (1187) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy

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  (248): just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy http://tfl.nu/dtdn
  Replies (17) Good night (4852) Bad night (416) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.

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  (732): my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum. http://tfl.nu/6d6p
  Replies (37) Good night (659) Bad night (9003) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.

  (1-310): View more from California

  damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.

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  (310): kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley. (1-310): damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now. http://tfl.nu/1545
  Replies (65) Good night (2218) Bad night (3155)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.

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  (574): I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA. http://tfl.nu/q47o
  Replies (31) Good night (1345) Bad night (5226) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage

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  (513): both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage http://tfl.nu/uqc7
  Replies (22) Good night (1626) Bad night (7110)
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  (518): View more from New York

  he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.

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  (518): he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left. http://tfl.nu/59ww
  Replies (38) Good night (1603) Bad night (8246) Order T-Shirt
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days

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  (260): Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days http://tfl.nu/vj5z
  Replies (2) Good night (1762) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.

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  (613): I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another. http://tfl.nu/23d2
  Replies (10) Good night (1107) Bad night (1814) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee

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  (425): come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee http://tfl.nu/e993
  Replies (13) Good night (1718) Bad night (604) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,

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  (309): Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning, http://tfl.nu/hwbb
  Replies (5) Good night (989) Bad night (774) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day

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  (773): Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day http://tfl.nu/fpi9
  Replies (4) Good night (697) Bad night (1365) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?

  (309): View more from Illinois

  No idea. And yes be here at 4

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  (801): Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding? (309): No idea. And yes be here at 4 http://tfl.nu/o72l
  Replies (10) Good night (1973) Bad night (445)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.

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  (816): Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks. http://tfl.nu/88uh
  Replies (20) Good night (1781) Bad night (495) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.

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  (706): i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house. http://tfl.nu/5m3i
  Replies (1) Good night (366) Bad night (414) Order T-Shirt

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