Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently

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  (210): It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently http://tfl.nu/9vg5
  Replies (23) Good night (2544) Bad night (794)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.

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  (952): I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa. http://tfl.nu/1yb9
  Replies (98) Good night (3695) Bad night (701)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'

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  (857): Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7' http://tfl.nu/hrls
  Replies (63) Good night (1125) Bad night (5207)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...

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  (770): He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose... http://tfl.nu/mrqu
  Replies (5) Good night (837) Bad night (3978)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....

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  (616): No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet.... http://tfl.nu/e90k
  Replies (3) Good night (1938) Bad night (1549)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.

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  (608): you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude. http://tfl.nu/1uv4
  Replies (5) Good night (2421) Bad night (806)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.

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  (603): he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained. http://tfl.nu/iy0m
  Replies (11) Good night (1784) Bad night (1196)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?

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  (267): Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder? http://tfl.nu/3p5i
  Replies (4) Good night (3024) Bad night (740)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day

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  (850): I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day http://tfl.nu/lnlc
  Replies (6) Good night (1145) Bad night (895)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.

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  (502): I am way too attached to fictional lesbians. http://tfl.nu/axfm
  Replies (10) Good night (1123) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?

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  (614): Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me? http://tfl.nu/bgzy
  Replies (9) Good night (515) Bad night (1367)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror

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  (865): He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror http://tfl.nu/h00k
  Replies (4) Good night (244) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas

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  (407): He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas http://tfl.nu/zvf4
  Replies (10) Good night (293) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.

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  (360): Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go. http://tfl.nu/fovd
  Replies (3) Good night (414) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid

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  (604): Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid http://tfl.nu/spz2
  Replies (1) Good night (456) Bad night (214)

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