honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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