I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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