My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.