I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.