Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away

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(434): View more from Virginia

Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(774): View more from Massachusetts

i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it

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(214): View more from Texas

Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure

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(443): View more from Maryland

yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism

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(801): View more from Utah

Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.

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(206): View more from Washington

The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up

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