I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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