How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up