Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015