i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Farmville is her only friend.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
