my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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