you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
